I can see clearly now, the rain is gone...

Our lives have completely changed in the last week. We have officially hired our first live-in domestic helper. Now normally I might down-play this entire thing so as to not give too much away or so I don't come across as braggy-braggy, but I can't help it. I must sing from the roof tops.... This Is HEAVEN!!!!! After much thought, discussion and prayer we decided it was a must. After 1 month of being in country I hadn't been out of the house for a week and was feeling pretty low. Tears were bubbling at the surface and one day it just clicked in me. I needed help. Desperately. A large majority of people have live-in helpers here. It's affordable and also a large part of Singapore's economic structure. At first it sounded difficult and annoying and scary. But when you have 4 kids in 1400 sq. feet and you can't even go grocery shopping because of all the hoopla that goes with it, you realize that you need help. When you have told your child "no, I can't help you now because I'm doing --blank--" (fill it with any number of things) ten times and it isn't even the afternoon yet, you realize you need help. When you want to stay in your pajamas all day and you can't even open the curtains because its just too much to deal with, you have to come to terms with the fact that you need help.

So after a lot of feet dragging, I interviewed 5 women and had one hired by the end of the week. Her name is Analyn and she comes from the Philippines. She has worked in Singapore for many years and has a lot of experience. She came to meet the kids and played hide-and-seek and legos with them for an hour and chatted with Patrick and I. I must add that she ended up being the only one that would work on the east coast (its farther away from the center of the city) and would work with 4 kids. But she is still the one for us. She is kind and happy all of the time. And the best part is, she has made me a better mom. Better because I have someone to pick up the slack for me, which is a considerable amount and better because I watch myself a bit more when someone is here. I am more willing to pick up after myself, work harder and I'm nicer to my kids. That right there is worth any negative which may come out of it. I was warned about the loss of privacy and the difficulties that can arise when hiring someone that lives with you, but so far all I have seen is good.

Here first weekend here we took her to the beach and skate park to show off her new home. Levi honestly loves her sooooo much. He smiles for her more than for me!

(He is so adorable and fat, I can hardly take it in! He is always ready with a smile which just warms your heart.) Analyn has been working closer to the center of the city for the last few years so this area was new to her. She enjoyed the skate park even though it was SO hot we were melting and we took time out to hit the hawker centre which is a large outdoor food court that serves cheap local foods. And it is so good! We had a few moments with Ronin not knowing how to handle having her around. The classic one is, "I love having a helper, she does everything for you!" We've had quite a few discussions about what to say, ("thank you!") and what not to say, ("How much do we pay her?") It's a learning curve for everyone, that's for sure.
Analyn says she likes it with us. Her previous employer was a bit difficult and not very concerned with her welfare. There are a lot of employers that don't give days off and don't send them home once a year to see their families, which is actually a requirement by law. We told her she would have every sunday off and you should have seen her face. She says our 4 kids combined are still a lot better behaved than kids in some single or double children homes she has encountered. I am trying to do my part at least with the kids so hopefully she doesn't feel totally overwhelmed by her duties here. Patrick and I discussed that she isn't being paid to be the mother, she is here to help the mother. I think we have found our dynamic and its working well.

She isn't required to discipline unless I am not home and I still require the kids to help with dishes, hanging up clothes and cleaning up toys. And even with that said, secretly I am so glad I don't have to clean my own toilet ; ) I taught her how to make bread this week and hopefully we will get a chance to do some sewing too. She said the thing she loves about working with new families is learning new things for when she has her own family. She is a great cook and very competent in all things domestic but I am glad I can teach her something new so there is some added excitement in her life. She loves bread and so far the baking has been a hit. There are also a few things she is learning about us that maybe she thinks is a little odd. I am sure the family prayer and scripture study threw her for a loop the first few times, but now she is used to it and hangs out to help. She holds the baby so I can actually sit and read and focus on a spiritual discussion instead of jiggling a crying baby in one arm and a book in the other while trying to get the other boys to sit still for just one minute!
The boys enjoyed themselves at the skate park and its the first time we have been out as a family that I haven't felt some sort of anxiety with the process. It was nice having an extra pair of eyes and hands. I felt calm, collected and happy. It's so nice being happy while spending time with your kids!
She has been here for a full week and the changes are everywhere. The kids and I have played hide-n-seek, Mother May I, Simon Says, Uno and Legos every day. I have taken the kids to the pool and have spent one-on-one time with each of them. I have been able to drop off Ronin at school every morning without another kid in tow (Patrick is out of town or he would be doing it!) and I have sat at the pool listening to music while one kid has played and the others have gone up to the apartment to do other things, all while dinner is being made. Each child is getting a bit more of what they want and need from me without a lot of the interferewithout usually have to deal with. And I have some personal time too. My bed is made, our clothes are clean and put away. Even Cache's school uniform has iron creases in the shorts! Wha?? The only creases the boys clothes have had is wrinkles from being in the bottom of the basket for a week! How many times have I had Ronin ask me to wash something and I just plain forget? No more! Backpacks are organized and ready in the mornings and the living room is always picked up.

You know that feeling you have when you have rushed out of the house in the morning with all of (or part of) your kids and you are out all day and you forget that you left the place a mess until you walk in the door and everyone is tired and wants to eat right now ! and you are just exhausted and you just want the day to end but you still have dinner and bedtime to deal with...? With Analyn here all the stress and frustration that comes in that kind of a situation is completely diffused. For the first time I finally feel like I'm on top of it all. And that is because you really can't do it all by yourself! Some things always have to give and with kids there are too many things that need to be done that end up slipping through the cracks. With Analyn here, it all gets done and I'm not a crazy person because of it. I am a happy mom that sees her kids as the sweet angels they are, and my kids are happy too. And that is worth every penny.