Letter to the Larsens
happy sunday, everyone…. just a quick email from us today. its getting late and i feel as if i haven’t had a good nights sleep all week, so my pillow is calling for me extra early tonight.
by way of update, this week went by without much incident. We did a lot of skating at the skate park. which means there was a lot of sweating and whining and crying too. but over all, the boys are all enjoying themselves. ronin can now go down some pretty steep ramps and has learned a few new tricks. Cache is practicing on his roller blades and gets more and more daring each time he goes. his blades are getting too small so we will definitely need to get new ones to keep him going. so glad you can’t grow out of a skateboard. although we have had to get more than one for Ronin. they keep disappearing in to the “lost and found” of the condo. which is more like the “lost and gone forever” underground selling ring that i believe the security guards and grounds cleaners run right under our noses. but enough about that….
ronin had a great time at his basketball camp this week and we really need to find him another one. he said he learned so many amazing things that his coaches at school have never taught him. and he said they actually told him how to do things step by step instead of just showing him over and over. so he really feels like he learned a lot!
both big boys are dreading school in the morning. ronin had a bit of a struggle going to sleep tonight because he is dreading it so much. he says school is too hard and he doesn’t want to do it. and he was tearful as he said it! its so hard being the parent knowing how horrible of a time they are having and also not being able to take it away from them. watching them struggle but also seeing that they are doing a great job even though its hard and they aren’t perfect! As long as he is trying, i feel so very proud of him. again, what a reminder of how our Heavenly Father must view us. He must long to help us but He knows these struggles in life are the only way through. this parenting thing is so humbling and eyeopening!
the little boys are going to be so lonely this week now that the big boys will be gone. every morning last week come 7 am, the couch cushions hit the floor, the lego bucket was overturned and they played (and fought) and played (and fought) all day long. having brothers is fun! Levis talking so much more just from one week of it. its been great for all of them.
I am realising as I look at the calendar that its almost time for conference. I feel a special excitement every 6 months as it approaches. i mean besides the opportunity to sit and hang out eating mixed nuts and chocolate ;) it really does rejuvenate me and refocus me to continue on. its such a special gift we have to be apart of.
so that leads me to my pondering for the week…. today, sacrament meeting was hard. as it always it. there was some kid screaming and fighting and crying and throwing of paper and water cups and kids being escorted out for being absolutely crazy. i feel tired and worn out by it all but I’m still happy and glad that i am there. But that feeling did wane a bit here and there, truth be told ;)
primary wasn’t much different. the entire presidency was out of town because of the american school spring break so It was just me and a stand in sub to do sharing time (thank goodness!)
and of course it was chaotic because no one left us keys to the cabinets, there weren’t enough teachers assigned and kai threw an extra large wrench into it by crying and throwing a fit because he wanted to go back to nursery (something he has been crying about every sunday since january!!)
and through all of this, there was just something that kept me going. i wonder most of the time, what does keep me going? like something is pushing me through each day. i think i finally hit on it this week with my pondering. and it was this…. I am so so incredibly grateful for it, not just for the gospel but for all of it. the organisation, the callings, the speakers and the meetings. the people you get to meet and learn from, the different nuances of each hour that slowly feed your spirit, even if you feel like you are falling apart half the time. I firmly believe it is the small steps that although they feel like they are going backward sometime, they actually do get you to your desired destination. but it happens not in one giant leap but with the little baby steps we take.we can feel confident in the fact that we are making real changes. much like exercising… you can’t train and run a triathlon in one day. it takes each day of doing something to strengthen yourself to be prepared for that big day thats coming. And i hope that when the big day does come (seeing my Savior again) i will be ready to face Him having changed a little bit each day and covenanting each week to fulfil the potential which i have. and maybe only then i will feel like i made it! even though most days i really am scared i won’t.
Im grateful for these little glimpses of the eternal reality to remind myself about whats important.
I remember reading a long time ago about someone, either a bishop, stake pres. or apostle… someone like that who said their greatest treasure on earth was their testimony. Out of everything they had, it was the one thing he worked the hardest for and never wanted to lose.
I was still struggling with my own at that time and wondered if i would ever feel that way. Im so grateful to say that I have finally made it! I apparently work really really slow… but i feel it. in every part of my being and every quiet moment of my day. It is real. i know it. without a doubt and I am so very grateful that i do. i wouldn’t trade it for all the riches in all the world. My testimony of what i know is true brings me peace, understanding and endurance. Which is something I wish someone would have told me about when i was 14. maybe i would have tried harder. and maybe they did and i just wasn’t listening. (which is definitely the case) but having this testimony makes such a difference in my life, and I’m so grateful that its mine. and no one can take it away from me. its personal to my experiences and relationship with my Savior.
i love this scripture in D&C 84:88. maybe I’ve shared it already. i can never remember anymore. but its such a good one, i don’t care if i have:
...there I will be also, for I will go b before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my c Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine d angels round about you, to bear you up.
I know this is true. I have seen it. and I feel it in my life every day. What an amazing promise. What a glorious thing it is to be apart of the Gospel and to have parents who have faithfully taught us through all our crazy years of life. We have been blessed beyond what we will ever deserve, but I will take it anyway! with a grateful heart and a prayer of thanks.
All our love to you our sweet family! We miss you!
have a great week,
p&k
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